I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
