walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
