Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize