operation harelip BJ is a go
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
