If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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