So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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