what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
