Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
