You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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