Are we in a gay sports bar?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
