Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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