And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
