We won't sleep together?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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