he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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