Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
