we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
