I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
