Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
