hell yes lets make some ravioli
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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