and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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