My room smells like vodka and shame
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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