Slut skills are useful in every country.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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