I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
