I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
