Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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