You smell like stripper and shame
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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