At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
