what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
