Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
