I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
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So what's wrong with washing your hands? Screw the bar.
What's wrong with a little masterbation? Plus he is making a joke that the bar is soo gross he won't touch his cock in fear of it getting warts.
The fact that you just informed someone of FUTURE plans to jerk the gherkin, must make you hate yourself.