there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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