i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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