Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How external is "for external use only"?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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