remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
