So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
worst night to have a conscience
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
