What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
