the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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