The maid of honor just puked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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