Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
