be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
