I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
