No awkward lesbian experiences without me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
