i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
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I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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