"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize