Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
