Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

3:26am: come over

(847): View more from Illinois

you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over

(248): View more from Michigan

4:11am: mnlodp

(847): View more from Illinois

dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over

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(248) 3:26am: come over (847): you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over (248) 4:11am: mnlodp (847): dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over http://tfl.nu/tbh5

Replies (7) Good night (1950) Bad night (1041)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i must have dtf stamped on my forehead

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(919): i must have dtf stamped on my forehead http://tfl.nu/gk7r

Replies (41) Good night (2907) Bad night (711)
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(740): View more from Ohio

my lips still taste like vagina

(1-740): View more from Ohio

so you liked breakfast?

(740): View more from Ohio

ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead

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(740): my lips still taste like vagina (1-740): so you liked breakfast? (740): ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead http://tfl.nu/odt6

Replies (18) Good night (3377) Bad night (1196)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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(774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv

Replies (16) Good night (2936) Bad night (2795)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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(843): Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean. http://tfl.nu/s35t

Replies (9) Good night (4723) Bad night (1133)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.

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(+44): He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/yc2p

Replies (11) Good night (4586) Bad night (1038)
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(917): View more from New York City

And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.

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(917): And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating. http://tfl.nu/qged

Replies (19) Good night (5785) Bad night (1714)
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(914): View more from New York

He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name

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(914): He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name http://tfl.nu/48t9

Replies (3) Good night (3289) Bad night (936)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer

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(604): Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer http://tfl.nu/ixyo

Replies (7) Good night (392) Bad night (1117)
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(727): View more from Florida

He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

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(727): He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again. http://tfl.nu/phzx

Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (278)
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(239): View more from Florida

This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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(239): This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries. http://tfl.nu/qlqz

Replies (5) Good night (508) Bad night (374)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.

(1-319): View more from Iowa

And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.

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(319): Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth. (1-319): And in your bra. It was quite entertaining. http://tfl.nu/axvu

Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (243)
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(347): View more from New York

I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.

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(347): I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical. http://tfl.nu/o6lg

Replies (7) Good night (740) Bad night (364)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

I still maintain we were not that drunk......

(810): View more from Michigan

Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!

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(810): Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room. (1-810): I still maintain we were not that drunk...... (810): Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down! http://tfl.nu/mzkd

Replies (2) Good night (759) Bad night (207)
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(515): View more from Iowa

It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada

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(515): It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada http://tfl.nu/dfi5

Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (230)

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