its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?