I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.