im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing