After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I need moral support for this bender
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I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy