He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize