yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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