Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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