I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
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You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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