it was like eating out sand paper
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
