considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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