He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
