As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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