JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
