I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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