my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize