There is no way he is gay with that hair.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
