Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
