would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
