i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
