Apparently you make a good broom.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
