When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
