Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize