Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
