shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
